Corrupt a Wish V.4

(Mass effect! L2 Implans caused mental instability ranging from headaches to insanity. Kaidan was an L2.)

Granted. You're a prothean. Oh, look, is that a giant squid in low orbit?

I wish salarians were real... Just for the doctor's song.

Granted. humans are now the target of the Genophage..

I wish I was a Quarian

granted, but cerberus captures you and turns you into a krogan

i wish assassin's creed 3 would introduce a new assassin

Granted. It leaves the game and kills you.

I wish the next person will wish for Mars so I can Pwn them.

Granted, no one wishes for mars, and you get pwned

I wish i owned U.S.S. Enterprise-E

Granted. Picard comes and you are arrested for stealing it.

I wish that Space Travel was perfected.

granted, the borg finally feel humanity is advanced enough and assimilates us all

i wish i had gigantic biscuit right now

Granted. It was made out of Devil's Snare and it throttles you to death.

I wish I was a member of Species 8472.

granted, you become trapped in this demension and you are constantly experimented on

i wish i had a gotee (lets see ya ruin this one!)

Granted. It's actually a big hairy spider though, so...

I wish for a wooden Mallet to hit thingy with.

Granted. You hit thingy, which causes a nuclear detonation that completely destroys all nature on earth, knocks earth out of it's orbit and destroys the human race. Earth is now a barren rock drifting through the depths of space...

I wish i had a battlestar (Not much that can go wrong with a gigantic lump of metal armed to the teeth with everything from strategic missiles to artillery and a hundred nuclear warheads, right)

Granted. You buy it, and within seconds of your purchase, it explodes, and the shrapnel comes raining down upon the city your standing in, with many of the missiles having been launched. The missiles take out many of the major cities, and the smallest peice of shrapnel goes through your head, and your last moments are spent choking on your own blood.

I wish for a small feather.

granted, tis a magic feather that tickle you to death muhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

i wish everyone was evil

Granted. I'm technically a no-body as everyone at my school makes fun of me so I'm good and a raise an army that will destroy all evil......STARTING WITH YOU!!!!!

*Error, No wish Processed*

*Error you explode!*

everybody makes fun of you? damn i know that feels...

i wish i had a cookie

Granted. You get a cookie......

no wish granted or failed as a result of your wishing being fail

now i wish for gigantic cookie

granted, the cookie has programed nanoprobes in it that assimilate you

I wish to die.

Granted. Shadow Tartorus hangs you from a hook and turns on 'Never Gonna Give you Up.' You die slowly and painfully from blood loss and Rick-Roll.

I wish for Rick Roll.

Granted you are known on the internet for listening to Rick Roll the most. In shame and peer pressure, you commit suicide.

I wish for irony.

Granted. Ironically, my wish wasn't granted the way you said, as I wouldn't care what people on the internet would think so I DIDN'T commit suicide. Because you failed, you did, however.

I wish for........I do not know what.

Granted. Since you said "you don't know what" you could of wished anything. So I'm assuming you wished that you died. BOOM, you're dead again.

I wish for sarcasm.

granted, no one knows when you're serious anymore so your killed to simplify things...

i wish everything in life was simple... (and that's a real wish)

Granted. Everyday you only eat, sit, sleep, poop, pee. And because you're unsatisfied with yourself for being so useless you commit suicide.

I wish for an unpoisened fresh tasty delicious cookie.

Granted. But your nemesis eats it.

I wish for a fish.

Granted! You obtain fish that has tons of spikes and bones in it. Because of your stubborness or "persistance" you eat it and choke.

I wish for Firefox 3.6.3.

Granted. But it's got a whopping great virus!

I wish for world peace.

granted, call of duty dissapears and so does just about every violent game,

on the other hand world peace does sound like a good idea...

i wish i had a cookie

Granted. It's a cookie from a particular website that gets you arrested.

I wish I had a pet army of Mongeese

Mongeese? Granted. You treat them like sh*t so they start killing you.

I wish for posting bot.

Granted. It continually spams you.

Shemuel wrote:Granted. It continually spams you.

No wish detected.

I wish for Shemual to make a wish not involving me, the banning of me, or anything to do with me.

Granted. He wishes a random building in a random city on a random planet falls. By pure chance (or perhaps because god hates you), it's your home. You die.

I wish i had martin sheen's voice (he played The Illusive Man. His voice is just too frakking awesome.).

Granted, but then you need sur gury in your neck and the doctor destroys your voical chords. You are mute.

I wish that i had some time

(Agreed, Thingy.)

Granted. You hvae 5 seconds of time...now 3...times up!

I wish I had Iron Man's suit.

granted. you have your suit but it doesnt work. and u have to assemble it

i wish for every superpower imaginable.

Granted. Unfortunetly, this includes both the power to blow yourself up, and immortallity. You spend the rest of eternity as strips of flesh left for the dogs.

I wish I had a Species 8472 Bioship, was on good terms with Species 8472, and I was recognized as a human ally. Oh, and that I'd out-match anyone. And since I'm a Christian, it's obvious God won't smite be, but still I'll add that in.

Granted. The Buddha smite you.

I wish I was a decent human being.

Granted. You now are.

I wish for a fish.

It's a poisonous Angle Fish. You eat it and die.

I wish for a fish.

Granted. It is attached to a hungry bear. Now go get it.

I wish for North Korea to be democratic.

Granted......that is something I DON'T wanna corrupt, so, since it's your 'fault' it happened, you are well decorated for your service to the whole f***ing world.

I wish for my own pet Tame Flood that won't attack anyone I tell it not to, including myself. (I mean a Flood Infection form from Halo.)

Um, OK. However, it gets eaten by a local dog.

I wish I could work out 6784222 x 7690000 in my head.

Granted, it's 52170667180000, but, when you figure that out, your eaten by my new Flood-Infected dog.

I wish I had a Tame Flood-Infected Dog that won't attack anyone I tell it not to, including myself.

Granted. However, it gets eaten by a local bear.

I wish for the weather to be as good as it is more often.

Granted, you can't enjoy it because you get eaten by my new Flood-Infected Bear.

I wish I had a Tame Flood-InfectedBear that won't attack anyone I tell it not to, including myself.

Granted. Unfortunately due to nuclear testing in the area, the radioation effects its brainwaves causing it to kill you and every living thing in the country

I wish I had a condom

Granted. It's second hand and the former user had every known STD.

I wish I had a donut.

It has cockroaches and centipedes and human centipedes and feces. Yum.

I wish for veal.

granted. but its infected with every std and desease known to humanity, ever. ( "Veal is the meat of young cattle courtesy" of wikipedia)
i wish i had a dominion battleship and a completely loyal crew.