Thingy's PARs (Post Action Reports)

I'll post all my PAR's here.


Freeworlds Fleet Engagement Post Action Report. Or ''How to make two large fleets made up of individual players battling boring''

Freeworlds is a star wars mod for Freelancer. It takes the basic freelancer, and replaces basicly everything with a star warsy version. So far, it is holding up well in the multiplayer department. There are plenty of ships and improvements over the original freelancer and the difficulty is on an OK level. But i still haven't tried what might be the best part of FW, the so called ''FE's'' (or was it TE's...? Doesn't matter...). So i find out when the next TE is, get a good, combat capable fighter, arm up and head for the rally point, expecting an epic uber battle of fun. Oh... What a fool i was...

I head to the Selona Skyhook in the Correlia system, which is serving as the rally point for the coalition of New Republic (NR), Jedi and Imperial Remnant (IR, the faction i belong to) forces. I arrive there after a short cruise and find a large force of fighters flying around the skyhood. 40 people are on the server tonight (which by the way is amazing for a freelancer server since everyone and their grandmother seem to have moved to the Discovery mod's server) of which probably half are around the skyhook in fighters and bombers.

The fighters get their leader and the bombers get their own, now we wait. We wait for at least 10-15 minutes, probably 5 of those under communication silence for some reason (we're in group chat which the other team can't see, so i have no idea why we're under radio silence. Or text silence, rather.

To fully understand how boring this was, sit down and twiddle your tumbs for 15 minutes.

Go ahead.

I can wait.

No?

What do you mean you won't do it?

Oh come on, are you a chicken?

Sigh... Ok, fine. Frak it.

But for the -2 of you (it's a negative 2 because i bet 2 of you sniffed cocaine and/or went on a furious masturbation rampage just to do the opposite of what i told you to do), how fun was that? Not at all (except you two. You probably had a shit ton of fun)? Well, that's too bad! Because that's what i'm going to be doing for the next FRAKKING HOUR. AND A HALF!

Anyways. The leader of the fighter group (his name began with an O and his rank was captain, but i can't remember anything else. So i'm going to call him Captain Ocelot from here on. Actually, i wouldn't be surprised if that was his in game name...), Captain Ocelot told us to follow him and headed for the Bilbringi Hyper Buoy (You dock with the hyper buoy to go to another system. This one takes you to the imperial system of Bilbringi). Everyone formed up on him and we all jumped to bilbringi.

Then we frakked around for 45 minutes.

I'm not even kidding. We flew around the system for 45 minutes doing nothing but spinning every once in a while and stopping while Captain Ocelot did... I don't know what he did. He just stopped and moved around at sub cruise speed for a while. In fact, i doubt i even want to know what he was doing. All while the bomber squadrons and the capital ships were talking about how much fun they're having, all the bombing and shooting they're doing and all the kills they're scoring. We, in the meantime, just flew around wondering what the hell Captain Ocelot was doing. We encountered like 2 hostiles (who probably just randomly ran into us while... I have no idea what they were doing... Probably scouting or something.) in the entire 45 minute time span. And i doubt anyone enjoyed killing them since the entire fighter group just turned into one big blob and followed them while trying to shoot them down, which they did after a few minutes. I'm not kidding. It takes a few minutes to actually kill a single player, and we were a huge blob of fighters.

Actually, there was so little happening that i auto formed up on Captain Ocelot in the middle of the flight of randomness and went to the toilet. 5 minutes later, i returned. Nothing had happened. We were still spinning around for no reason at all in empty space while the bombers and cap ships were talking about all the stuff they were kaploweeing.

But then, just to mix things up a little and add some variety to the whole thing, we moved to an enemy base, where we met up with the capital ships. We then flew around that base, spinning for around 30 minutes.

But this time something interesting happened after like 20 minutes. An enemy (Imperial. The imperial remnant and the Empire are two different factions by the way)fleet jumped out and attacked us. Finally! Some action! I found the nearest fighter and went into a pursuit with 5 other fighters. We flew around for 3 minutes trying to hit him in vain, and him trying to hit us in vain. Then everyone died.

Apparantly, some asshole had decided to drop a space bomb on us. Space bombs are incredibly powerful weapons (instant kill) with huge splash damage. It can however not kill a capital ship in one hit, so they survived.

I respawned at the skyhook and went on the boring 3 minute flight back. When i arrived, all the enemies had been killed by the capital ships. Everyone flew around the base for another 15 minutes, and then the TE ended with us on the winning side. We got the base (a dockable, immobile non player controlled star destroyer). And i had a fatal case of boredom. I then went on to write a Post Action Report that no one would read to the end about the last 1:30 hours of amazing boredom.

Opinions?

Well, if it is what you say it is, this Ocelot guy seems to be incredulously boring. Like the review though, very detailed.

It's not a review. It's a post action report. The review is still on it's way.

And i think Captain Ocelot was doing the right thing. We would have been slaughtered if we went into the cap ship-bomber-cap ship-bomber battle without any hostile intereceptors to hunt. Unfortunately, the right thing was incredibly boring and lead to us spinning around for no reason for an entire hour and a half.