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My Beautiful Blade

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My Beautiful Blade Empty My Beautiful Blade

Post by Darkjedi 2009-04-08, 11:41

Here I stand

From the cracked mirror

At last, I've never seen clearer

The past's echos nearer and nearer.


You took her!

You took her!

You scratched her!

You bleed her!


Do I remember, amidst all my cries?

Will I forget, those beautiful eyes?


But above my sorrow,

there it lies.

Something that will undo this demise.


My beautiful blade.


Alas! Can't you see?

Your the one

Who's for me


Steady now!

Do dig in!

You're the creature

In the kid


Take my hand

You'll be mine

Now our fates

Intertwined


Let us dance!

Masquerade!

This is the choice

You have made


Recollect

Rectify

You are the joy

Of my life


Drive your point

Deep at heart

Now our love

Does impart


And forever

Never know

The blackened trees

I have grown


And forget

A love today

My most beautiful,

Beautiful blade.


Last edited by Darkjedi on 2009-04-29, 19:22; edited 1 time in total
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Shemuel 2009-04-08, 11:48

When's this girl coming from Texas again?
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Darkjedi 2009-04-08, 11:57

Did Jtull tell you that?

This is not about "that girl".

This is about another.

A dead one who's death I am still troubled over.

And, I DO NOT want to talk about it any further than that. This is why I write!

Anyways, in the story of the poem, the blade is the one that can undo the the death of the lost one/s.

The main character falls in love with this blade, his saviour.

In the end, his blade shows it's love by stabbing itself into her master.


Last edited by Darkjedi on 2009-05-27, 12:22; edited 1 time in total
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Shemuel 2009-04-08, 12:37

I'm sorry to hear her death is still troubling you.
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Darkjedi 2009-04-08, 12:40

That's nice.

What did you think of the poem?
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Shemuel 2009-04-08, 12:42

It's long Razz
Jk.


You like poetry, don't you? The effort you put in shows.
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Darkjedi 2009-04-08, 12:47

Thanks?

Why did you lock this?

Unlocked.
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by FlashFreak22 2009-04-08, 17:41

I like it! I think it would do better with longer stanzas though. But that's just me...
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Darkjedi 2009-04-08, 18:54

Well, at first I felt the same way you do, but when I read it out loud, I discovered that it sounded best to me when split into smaller blocks of stanzas. The poem is intended to be read out loud.
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by FlashFreak22 2009-04-08, 19:05

Yes, all poems are better out loud... unless they suck.
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My Beautiful Blade Empty Re: My Beautiful Blade

Post by Jtull 2009-04-08, 19:25

Darkjedi wrote:Did Jtull tell you that?

This is not about "that girl".

This is about another.

A dead one who's death I tend to blame myself for.

And, I DO NOT want to talk about it any further than that. This is why I write!

Anyways, in the story of the poem, the blade is the one that can undo the the death of the lost one/s.

The main character falls in love with this blade, his saviour.

In the end, his blade shows it's love by stabbing itself into her master.

I havent said anything. I promice
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