DJ on vicodin again

Darkwing wrote:but the problem is DJ doesn't have much of a capacity for that. He is a little more reckless with how he appears, demonstrating either complete insecurity about himself, or he just doesn't give a ....

I do care.

And I'm aware that I have an addiction.

It's just NOT taking the pills, that's the problem. LOL!

Now when I look back at what I wrote in the chatbox, it actually makes some sense.

When I talk about the sea, I am talking about the world, and the depths of the sea = death.

Also, when I talk about the house, or my house, I am referring to my life.

And... my life is burning.

Man, I'm never going back to that hospital again.

But yet, I feel like I need to.

No, I'm not going to talk about little Christopher. (He's the little boy that died while I was holding his hand)

There are others that I look after at that hospital, there's Mary Anne, and there's Lue Daniels.

Mary Anne has always been a spry woman, but now being old has just caught up to her.

She's been in and out of the hospital for months now, but just last week she fell at home and broke her hip.

The doctors are wanting to do surgery, but they're trying to get her health up before that.

I don't think she'll survive the surgery, and everyone knows she won't.

Her husband, Murray knows it too.

I have never seen that man cry in my entire life, until the Friday.

He's been in denial about Mary anne's health for years, and now it's realization time.

And then there's Lue..

He's had prostate cancer for years, and he's tried to fight it off with various therapies, but it keeps spreading.

I don't think he will last the winter.

And, he's probably the nicest man i've ever met.

He's only in his 60's too.

It's just sad.

Ookkaayy, Dw, he's done it again....

no no no, i understand all of this. it makes perfect sense. perfect sense. here's my advice, you've given me something to work with, so now i can give advice. Go back to the hospital, it will in a strange way make you feel better. Talk with relative of Chris (creepy, as that's my name) it will help. Death is a part of life, maybe the best part, scratch that, it is the best part. Being religious you should know that. Even if you aren't Christain (because you're not) you must understand that, here, think of it like this. Life begins when you are born. Life never ever ends, that's the funny part. See, death and life is like a road. You start out from your home, and you start travelling, and make many twists and turns, and even many wrong turns, some worse than others. Some that you think you can't find your way out of, but no matter what, that road doesn't end (nobody be a smartass and say unless it's a qul de sac) Eventually, you get to a really realy big road bump, and the road forks. See, this road bump is death, but the road continues, either into heaven or hell. No, we do not choose which road we take, but just because it seems to have ended, doesn't mean it has, it is only a pause. Now understand I am coming from my religious background when I say this, and though we may not know what is beyond the road bump, though we may fear it, embrace it, accept it as a continuation of life. Chris' life is only continuing elsewhere, and in probably a much greater life than what we live now. Your house may be burning, but what do you do when your house burns? You run, seek shelter from a friend's house. That's what I can give you for now. I hope this helps some

i think you and i should continue this in pms. if it helps, even a little bit to talk to me on this level or capacity, than i am willing to.